Black Sheep Gamers Guild™

It was a photoshop job.

I think he looks more like Lenny Kravitz.

Yeah, definitely like a 'roided out Lenny Kravitz.

The dealer's avatar was named Rastlynn? I'm pretty sure I've seen that name somewhere. Is it a popular name?

i think the spelling is supposed to be Rastlin, but thats a main character in several dragonlance books.

hehe, its ok Meggo.  You're just a woman... *braces for impact*

Not me.  I'm really, really bored with it.  We haven't had the money to keep Burt's account on for a while but will soon.

Yeah, we had to cut it after the layoff, but I will soon be back to playing my paladin of destruction.

These are taken from real Resumes and Cover Letters, and were printed in "Fortune" Magazine:

1. "I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreadsheet pogroms."

2. "Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details."

3. "Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year."

4. "Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions."

5. "Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave."

6. "Failed bar exam with relatively high grades."

7. "It's best for employers that I not work with people."

8. "Let's meet, so you can 'ooh' and 'aah' over my experience."

9. "I was working for my mom until she decided to move."

10. "Marital status: Single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No commitments."

11. "I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse."

12. "I am loyal to my employer at all costs... Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voice mail."

13. "My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in Meteorology, I suppose   I should try stock brokerage."

14. "I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant."

15. "Personal interests: Donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far."

16. "Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chainstore."

17. "Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as 'job-hopping'. I have never quit a job."

18. "Marital status: Often. Children: Various."

19. "The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers."

20. "Finished eighth in class of ten."

21. "References: None. I've left a path of destruction behind me."



These quotes were taken from actual Performance Evaluations:

1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig."

2. "I would not allow this employee to breed."

3. "This associate is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won't be."

4. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."

5. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."

6. "When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there."

7. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."

8. "This employee is depriving a village of an idiot."

9. "This employee should go far and the sooner he starts, the better."



These lines are actual lines from Military Performance Appraisals:

1. Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.

2. A room temperature IQ.

3. Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.

4. A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.

5. A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.

6. Bright as Alaska in December.

7. Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

8. He's so dense, light bends around him.

9. If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.

I can't quite put my finger on it, but there is something...different, about the way that guy is built; and it isn't a good thing.

That is an abomination.

Tshirt War This would take so long to make, but it is so awesome

Idiots. Heather said that once having no idea what it meant (and used it quite skillfully I might add). I just told her that's something that adults say and not to say it.

Lol, that's hilarious, both that student and Heather.

These comments were found with this particular Woot! design:
Oh hai there, I can haz ur planet?
IN YR CEILIN, SHATTERIN YR MINDZ

t o t a l l y  s w e e t ! ! !    V e r y  C r e a t i v e .

Fighting a Fire – Old School Style

One dark night outside a small town in northern Minnesota , a fire started inside the local chemical plant and in a blink of an eye, it exploded into
massive flames.

The alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around. When the volunteer fire fighters appeared on the scene, the chemical company
president rushed over to the fire chief.  “All of our secret formulas are in the vault in the center of the plant.  They must be saved.  I will give $100,000 to the fire department that brings them out intact!”

But the roaring flames held the firefighters off.  Soon, more fire departments had to be called in as the situation became desperate. .



In the distance, a lone siren was heard as another fire truck came into sight. It was the nearby Scandinavian Rural Township volunteer fire company composed mainly of Norwegians well over the age of 65.

To everyone's amazement, that little run down fire engine roared right past all the newer sleek engines that were parked outside the plant and, without even slowing down, drove straight into the middle of the inferno.  Outside, the other firemen watched as the Scandinavian old-timers jumped off right in the middle of the fire and fought it back on all sides.

It was a performance and effort never seen before.

Within a short time, the Norse old timers had extinguished the fire and saved the secret formulas.


The grateful chemical company president announced that for such a superhuman feat, he was upping the reward to $200,000 and walked over to personally thank each of the brave fire fighters.

The local TV news reporter rushed in to capture the event on film, asking their chief, “What are you going to do with all that money?”

“Vell”. said Ole Olsen, the 80-year-old fire chief, “Da first ting ve gonna do is fix da dam brakes on dat focking fire truck!”

and for those that don't know: Jim Halpert

Awesome.

That's funny; they really get in there by the middle of the preview.

The largest ruse in history. And it possibly won WWII for us.

That is truly odd.

Um...somesone's getting laid tonight?

The couple on the left doesn't look like an enraged zombie (or something murderous) chasing a woman and about to tackle her from behind and take a bite out of her?

I still vote zombies

LOL! i love it.

that is indeed the creepiest fucking face ever.

That is kind of a creepy face.

the brick circles another face

Amazing, Master Chief has a really great voice.

http://video.ign.com/dor/articles/95853 … ml?show=hi

Batman faces Reality

Batman faces reality...meh.

But the Knightly Knerd?  The fantasy of oppressed nerds everywhere.

Apparently it is legal to own a machine gun in Montana for a purpose manifestly not aggressive or offensive.

Annotated wording of the actual section regarding machine guns in Montana Law:

Machine Guns

A machine gun is defined as a firearm designed to discharge more than one shot by a single function of the trigger.
Possession or use of a machine gun in the perpetration or attempted perpetration of a crime of violence is punishable by not less than 20 years in prison.

Possession or use of a machine gun for an aggressive or offensive purpose is prohibited. A presumption of possession for an aggressive or offensive purpose is raised by possession or use by a person who has been convicted of a crime of violence.

This law does not prohibit or interfere with the possession of a machine gun for scientific purposes, or the possession of a machine gun that is not usable as a weapon and possessed as a curiosity, ornament or keepsake, or the possession of a machine gun for a purpose manifestly not aggressive or offensive.

The entire annotated Law on purchase and possession of a firearm in Montana:

http://crime.about.com/od/gunlawsbystat … aws_mt.htm

Lol.  Or for home defense.  It just said not offense.

Have it broken down into component pieces. Then it's not a weapon, it's just a pile of parts.

I found an amazing video of someone breaking into a store who may actually earn the title of  World's Worst Burglar.    It's even set to music 80's montage style!

Last edited by MrFurious (2010-05-13 19:31:46)

What is wrong with people.  I seriously hope he was already drunk before doing that, otherwise he needs put down.

Gotta admit... the guy can fall with the best of them.

It wasn't enough punishment for the stupid.

Dear god, there are so many covers, why is this song so popular?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2UbgcqI1 … re=related


GET OUT OF MY HEAD!  GET OUT OF MY HEAD!

yeah, but he isn't anywhere near as hot as she is.  *grins*

THANK GOD!!! Something finally got Myley Cyrus's "Party in the USA" out of my head.

Too much woman for me?  Ha!  I could handle two of her at the same time... *grins dreamily*

(I'm just joking babe, I'm not looking for a goth girl replacement, lol.)

Last edited by MrFurious (2010-05-25 17:06:24)

Ooh, ouch for Jess.

Things school kids have written about the ocean:

1) - This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly, age 6)

2) - Oysters' balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6)

3) - If you are surrounded by ocean, you are an island. If you don't have ocean all round you, you are incontinent. (, age 7)

4) - Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson She's not my friend any more. (Kylie, age 6)

5) - A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy, age 8)

6) - My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men and a woman and pots and comes back with crabs. (Millie, age 6)

7) - When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes when the wind didn't blow the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would have been better off eating beans. (William, age 7)

8) - Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are beautiful and I like their shiny tails, but how on earth do mermaids get pregnant?
Like, really? (Helen, age 6)

9) - I'm not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother is a always crying, my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy, age 6)

10) - Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves in to chargers.  (Christopher, age 7)

11) - When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin, age 6)

12) - Divers have to be safe when they go under the water.. Divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky, age 8)

13) - On vacation my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water fired right up her big fat ass.. (Julie, age 7)

14) - The ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the fish don't drown I don't know. (Bobby, age 6)

15) - My dad was a sailor on the ocean He knows all about the ocean. What he doesn't know is why he quit being a sailor and married my mom. (James, age 7)

*****

Number nine is just sad, I think.  Obviously that kid is not in a happy environment.

In Walmart today and there was a little kid chasing his brother around with a tiny little, cheapo lightsaber and he was yelling, "I'm Star Wars, I'm Star Wars!  I'M DARTH MAUL, I'M DARTH MAUL!!!"

Hopefully he grows out of actually wearing the cape in public just because he likes it.

I had no idea Red VS Blue was still going, and when I found this video I nearly died laughing. 

http://redvsblue.com/archive/?id=1344

hehe, I rather enjoyed that myself. To be honest though; the others are pretty inept which makes her bad-assery is made to seem even more so.

Last edited by MrFurious (2010-06-30 01:20:15)

Yeah, they're skill has increased significantly.  Also, I think Microsoft or someone has finally gotten around to giving them a customized halo engine for doing their animations.

The Hoff covers Can't Fight This Feeling and the the baby Jesus cries.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJQVlVHsFF8